Refusing to take another step further, my footprints sank deeper into the sand.
A crowd of college boys each held a cold beer in one hand and a numbered piece of paper in the other. As the girls in front of me strolled right past them, the guys held up their scores, rating them on a scale of 1-10 based off their looks.
It was Spring Break 2010, otherwise known as SBX, in Panama City Beach, Florida. And apart from making hilarious and precious memories with my Gamma Phi sisters, I couldn’t get over what my sheltered little preacher’s kid eyes saw in PCB.
One night in particular, my sisters and I decided to go dancing at the place where MTV Spring Break has made its home for the past decade: Club La Vela, aka “the largest nightclub in the USA and Spring Break headquarters of the world.”
After a few hours of dancing, or rather trying to avoid eye contact with any creeper who tried to plant theirs behind my butt for a grinding session, I made my way to the bar for a bottle of water. All of a sudden, a tall dark and handsome… stranger came up to me out of nowhere and asked if I had a boyfriend. No introduction. No “Hi, my name’s so and so, what’s your name?” Nope, he just went straight to the boyfriend question.
I thought up a lie and thought it up quick.
Me: Yeah, sorry.
Stranger: That’s too bad because I want to f*** the sh** out of you right now.
Me: Oh wow, I’ve never had anyone say that to me before.
Stranger: (Laughs) Well is he here? We could go back to my hotel. It’s spring break and anything can happen.
Me: I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend.
True story friends. That was the first time I was ever offered sex, and from a total stranger. I grabbed my bottled water and hurriedly made my way through the Darkroom in search of my sorority sisters, cautiously avoiding the Trojan condom packs dispersed along the floor.
Club La Vela is seriously overrated y’all.
Fast-forward to seven years later, I’m sitting in my corner chair searching for “dating apps” on my iPhone. It’s 2017. Why not? New Year. Same status.
Within five minutes, I downloaded “Coffee Meets Bagel” and deleted the app. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see myself rating guys based off their looks and scoring coffee beans to earn more points. All I could think about was those college guys scoring girls on the beach.
But my friends have said they’ve met quality guys through online dating. So, what’s holding me back? (Or rather, not being able to keep a profile for longer than five minutes.)
- A. Pride
- B. Fear
- C. Control
- D. Vulnerability
- E. All the above.
You guessed it: E. All the above.
Going on a date with a matched profile is a step of faith. But so is going on a date with someone whom I’ve met in person. Even though I don’t feel comfortable “liking” someone’s private profile, I often find myself subconsciously swiping right at guys in public settings and impulsively rating them based off their looks.
How’s that for being vulnerable?
I guess the final question I have to ask myself is, “Am I willing to allow God to work through me if I choose to follow-through with online dating?”
There is absolutely nothing wrong with online dating. It just may or may not be for me. But am I willing to give it a try? Am I willing to let go of my fear, pride, control and vulnerability and allow God to shine through me and be glorified in whatever way I choose to date?