“Suck in your stomach and tuck in your bottom,” Ping, my ballet professor, pointed out to me in front of my peers. Previous feelings of grace and beauty suddenly disappeared like a floppy-eared bunny inside a cage of black silk. I pleaded with Ping that my bottom was already tucked in.
So often, I stare at my features and waste precious minutes criticizing every curve, every flaw. I trace my focus away from my acne-prone pale skin and back to my eyes. I gaze at the the darker shades of blue outlining my turquoise irises.
Remember, beloved, we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). We are God’s creation, so intricately, delicately and purposefully woven in our mother’s womb.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 39:13-14
I fear we, as women of all shapes and sizes, have allowed society to dictate our worth and skew our definition beauty. I sometimes question whether or not I would be less likely to compare my curvy figure with the stick figures I see in Hollywood if society never had an ideal image.
And whether it’s the complexion of our face, the shade of our skin, or the shape of our body, I also fear guys have these false expectations of the perfect girl:
- The grace and athleticism of prima ballerina, Misty Copeland
- The fierceness and sexiness of Victoria Secret model, Gigi Hadid
- The confidence and slenderness of Taylor Swift
Sorry boys, but we are never, ever, ever getting back together, like ever, if you expect us to meet these unrealistic, fantasized features.
And don’t think for one second the reason why you are single is because you don’t meet these societal standards. I have been down that pity party. It’s not pretty.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
You see, throughout my crush count, a number of guys have pursued my friends instead of me. Ouch. But then God shifted my focus from myself to Himself. Who am I to try and stand in the way of a relationship God could very well be orchestrating for His glory?
Recently, I have felt entangled by everyone else getting asked out on dates except me, oblivious to God’s protection and plans for me. I rationalized that my looks were the main reason why I got overlooked.
But wait, why am I allowing guys to dictate my beauty and worth? I forget that God already pursues me and has pursued me before I was ever born. Beauty cuts so much deeper than the surface level. God sees us as beautiful, shouldn’t that be enough?
She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it
Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface
So to all the girls that’s hurting
Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer
The light that shines within
There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful