All posts filed under: Guest Writers

Guest Writers for Single Since ’91

Natalie’s Story: 5 Tips for Dating in the Big (App)le

When I moved to New York City almost two years ago, I dreamed of this huge new life that I would create for myself. I thought of my career goals, bettering who I am as a person, and, of course, I thought about finding love. For almost three years previously I lived in a beautiful town in Appalachia with a population of 8,000 people, mostly consisting of seniors over the age of 70. Needless to say my chances of finding a man were slim to none. But that didn’t keep me from trying out Tinder when my friends who were also single and looking for love in this tiny town urged me to join with them. That lasted about two hours before deleting my account. When most profile pictures included holding up a dead deer or fish, I knew I was looking in the wrong market. Hunting is not my forte. So when I signed my lease to move to Manhattan, one of the first things I looked forward to was meeting some single men who …

Anna Clair Beasley Photography

Kelsey’s Story: The Gift Unasked for

A loud message from pop culture shouts to the world and says, “Christmas is only ‘Merry’ if you have someone special to meet under the mistletoe, sipping hot cocoa by the fire gazing into each other’s eyes.” The holiday centered around Christ, the only man who can bring us perfect love and fulfillment, has been watered down by the romanticism of an imperfect person. Oh, how irritated I selfishly react when I see people’s engagement posts: “Ahh I said yes! Can’t wait to marry my best friend!” (shows off ring next to a Christmas tree.) I click the “like” button, and think, “Okay God, where is my guy? Every girl in those Hallmark movies gets a mushy love story. What about me?” And then there are those romantic songs that fill our holiday parties and car radios: “Baby, all I want for Christmas is you… The lights are turned way down low, let it snow, let it snow… but if you really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm.” I’ve heard it …

Paige’s Story: It’s okay to not be okay.

I 100% believed I’d be getting married immediately out of college, and I couldn’t be more grateful that didn’t happen. I didn’t know “single twenty-somethings” was a people group before I arrived in the midst of them, and the last two years of my life have been my favorites. God has allowed me to dodge so many bullets and given me countless memories that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But can I just say that I still have moments where I’m ready-to-scream angry that God still hasn’t put me in a relationship? I look at the last few years with incredible joy and gratitude and then turn around, clench my fists, and grumble at God, “Why do you refuse to answer my prayers? There’s just one thing that I’ve consistently asked you for and it’s the one thing you refuse to give me.” Despite all the good, I end up angry that I’m still single. When our lovely host Ashley asked me to write for Single Since ’91, I wasn’t sure where to start. My …

Meg’s Story: Creating Space for Both a Career and a Companion

Completely content in where God has me, I reflect on the people He has put in my life as well as the direction He has given me in my career. But then there’s that bomb. BOOM. The explosion in the sky that comes out of nowhere. I try to trust God, keeping my hands open with my career and with any relationship that may come my way, but BOOM. It’s hard to let go of my control and give over my life, wants and dreams to God, especially when I really desire something that seems nearly impossible. Two things I so strongly desire: To perform: to be a well-crafted actor and see the beauty and purpose in creating. To have a companion: to have someone who will encourage and challenge me in who God has created me to be. What may help in understanding my lack of trust (yet not justifying) would be for you to hear my story, or at least a piece of it: I was dating this boy for a “hot minute.” I gave him my all. I was a dang …

Olivia’s Story: Braving a Breakup in NYC

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of waking up in the city that never sleeps. And for a semester in college, New York City became my “home away from home” after landing a killer internship with Phillip Lim in their Wholesale Department. It was everything I expected and more. However, what I didn’t expect during my time in the city was for my grandmother to set me up with a guy. Weird, right? Lets be honest, 23-year-old girls don’t want their grandmother setting them up. This guy was the grandson of one of her dearest friends, so I decided to let her work her magic just to make her happy. The more she shared about him and his family, the more interested I became in wanting to meet this guy. On December 30th, we met and instantly clicked. I thought to myself, “Oh my gosh, I really think he might be the one.” A few days later, I flew back home to finish up my last semester at the University of Alabama. …

Karly’s Story: Single, yet in a relationship

By Karly Petrella I sit and consider a list of wants (and still want) that the Lord has not given me. There are hundreds, countless tears. My hand aches from writing out angry, bitter prayers to the Lord in the honesty of my heart. I often think I know best. My heart has been broken from a lack of a romantic relationship. Like Ashley, I’ve been single since ‘91. I have presented my request for a romantic relationship to the Lord for years. There have been seasons of begging, seasons of thinking I deserve it, seasons where I put a specific name in my prayer. Over and over presenting my requests to the Lord to have someone to love and serve and to have someone to love and serve me. Over and over I have told my sweet Savior I want: A coffee date with him A guy to notice me Someone to laugh with To feel beautiful Someone to bring home to meet my family Someone to do ministry with A dance partner Someone to cook with and …

Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love Jesus

By: Charlie* It’s a steady stinging sensation that I have felt 50 times before, but this time it’s more. It’s more painful. It’s lasting longer, darker; and somehow filled with more hope than the other times. There had been talk of a ring. Like, THE ring. We were going to have this perfect life together. And yet I could feel my heart craving something, quietly at first and then reaching a crescendo that I couldn’t ignore. I loved this one. I mean, I wasn’t in love, but I did love him. Still do. So why does God not want me to be with him? Why don’t I get to keep this one? Why is my heart more broken and crushed by this one than all the others? Why won’t God just perform a miracle and make him love Jesus? It’s been a little over a week since I obeyed God and ended a relationship with someone so very special to me. And coincidentally, it’s also been that long since I have been able to go more …

Karly’s Story: Relying on the Holy Spirit in Her Singleness

By Kary Petrella Hey, I’m Karly. Lover of Jesus Extreme extrovert Obnoxious laughter Single since ’91 That last description is a label I’ve never been proud of, nor a label I’ve been comfortable in sharing with others. As a result, I turned my years of singleness into a joke so that people wouldn’t know, that in reality, my singleness was no laughing matter to me. As a result, I’ve let my singleness creep in to the depths of my heart and make me question my worth. I’ve let lies sneak in: there’s something wrong with me I’m not pretty enough I’m not approachable I need to put myself out there and look available I intimidate guys I’m not good enough All of these lies have distorted my good, God-honoring desire for a relationship. “I feel like crap,” I said to my friends. “I’m annoyed that I can’t just be satisfied in Christ. I’m annoyed that I want attention and affection from a guy to feel worth. Why can’t I just be content in Christ and be content in my singleness?” However, two of …