All posts filed under: The Spiritual Single

Articles on faith, family, and relationships.

Dear Reader,

Dear Reader, Hello, it’s me. I haven’t written a post lately. Excuses run through my brain like a pinball machine. (Too busy, too tired, too lazy, etc). However, you and I both know that whatever your passion is, you will make time for it. I haven’t been writing consistently because I haven’t been inspired. And I definitely haven’t made time for inspiration. Writing about singleness is a challenge. But normally when faced with a challenge, I accept it like a Wizard’s Duel and give it my best swish and flick. However, this challenge seems to be a never-ending battle. Sometimes writing about singleness is pretty freaking fantastic, but other times it’s a train wreck. (i.e. Why doesn’t he text me back?) Just this past Sunday I watched back-to-back Matthew McConaughey rom-com movies just so I could escape my singleness and immerse myself in a hopeless romantic bubble. No. Shame. Some days I question why I even started this blog. What’s the point? Do I want to be known as the Singe Since ’91 blogger? Am I …

You are Loved: Finding Worth in God Instead of Resumes and Relationships.

“Some days you’re tired of trying to measure up. You see a girl who’s not enough when you look in the mirror.” As a single girl of 27 years, I see someone who’s not enough. I am tired of trying to measure up to the impossible prerequisites guys look for in a girl. In addition, I’m currently trying to figure out God’s plan for my life. After five years in full-time ministry, I felt God calling me away to pursue the artistic passions and literary gifts planted inside of me. After months of searching and interviewing, still no financially stable doors. I’m tired of closed doors and trying to measure up to other candidates with years of experience. “Some nights all you wanna do is hide ’cause every time you look inside, you’re face to face with failure.” “How’s the dating life? Do you have a boyfriend yet?” The answer is still no. I often times feel “bro-zoned” by my guy friends, which is bearable. I like having guy friends; however, it starts to become unbearable when those guys …

How the Five Senses Will Change the Way You Spend Time With God.

In the hustle and bustle of my morning routine or lack thereof, purposeful time spent with God shoves its way toward the bottom of my list of to-dos. As the night sky greets me, the stars remind me that I’ve spent my entire day without connecting with God. Why is that? How do I “make time for the creator of time?” Even though quality time is my top “Love Language,” I find it ironic that quality time with God loses its importance. There is literally nothing more important you could do today than to spend meaningful time alone with God. -Francis Chan Think about your five senses: the ability to see, touch, hear, taste, and smell. Oh how easy it can be to take these gifts from God for granted. What if you applied your senses to your morning routine as a way of carving out time with God? See Give me eyes to see others as you see them, to look at others with compassion and intentionality. Create time out of my schedule to …

Keira Davis Photography

When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned.

As soon as the teacher turned toward the dry erase board, a crinkled scrap piece of paper made its way to my desk. I glanced around the classroom to see where the toss came from. Hunched over, half covering her mouth, Corie eagerly whispered, “It’s from Mitchell.” I slowly unraveled the note and carefully read the tiny print: “Do you have a date to prom yet?” After circling “No,” I nervously chucked my response toward his direction, praying the teacher wouldn’t see the paper ball conspicuously flying through the air. Moments later, the piece of paper found its way once more to the top of my desk: “Wanna go to prom together?” I can’t tell you what I learned in class that day besides realizing my missed calling of meticulous paper throwing skills.  But one thing I did learn, Mitchell wanted to go to prom with me and I said, “Yes.” Prom was less than two weeks away. I was beginning to feel discouraged I hadn’t been asked to my senior prom. Truthfully, I initially hoped …

When You Feel Unloveable

Back home in ATL, I am surrounded by 30+ post-grad singles within my church community alone. But out here in Fort Collins, CO, I’m more aware of my relationship status than I’ve ever been in my 26 years of singleness. How do I make the most of being surrounded by a Christian culture where there are countless couples and families? How do I integrate without idolizing? This summer I have the incredible opportunity to invest in Cru staff students as a part of Cru’s Jr/Sr. high school program for eight weeks. This program consists of six staff (including myself), 17+ college leaders, and over 600 registered students. Last week, one of our college leaders spoke on the “Freedom to Experience Joy.” He said, “We look to certain things to give us joy, but end up feeling disappointed.” And even though his message was meant for middle and high school students, his words impacted the way I perceive idols: An idol becomes an idol because of where it is, not what it is. My prayer is to have …

Why Rush Into a Relationship?

Dancing his way through Atlanta last night, Jack Frost twirled with the trees and coated every branch with tiny droplets of ice. The branches drooped lower and lower in attempts to high-five the ground, much like Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tree. It’s the pocket-sized, ice sickle details in life that make the outfit complete. But often times, those details disappear when we’re hurriedly headed out the door. Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing… Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away. ― Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are Whether it’s speeding down I-4 to Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience World Tour, sprinting across campus to turn in a written assignment or pulling a Dumb and Dumber at the Birmingham Airport, I …

6 Motivational Marriage Quotes for Singles

Confidence mixed with caution, I held my bouquet like it was my job. Shoulders back, chin lifted and core tight, my Carolina blue dress rhythmically swayed to the dancing breeze of the music. Hidden behind my confident stride was a cautious fear of rolling my ankle. Well aware that wedges and nature do not mix, I shifted my gaze every so often from the wedding guests to the countless acorns, sticks, and rocks in the grass. (The squirrels forgot to remove them prior to the outdoor ceremony.) Ashley Tripp was NOT about to “trip” down the aisle. Once I successfully made it to my designated spot, I silently shouted a congratulations speech to myself, wondering if the wedding guests could read “First Time Bridesmaid” written on my forehead. Don’t lock your legs, Ash, and for goodness sakes, don’t pass out. Standing side-by-side with my fellow bridesmaids, my perspective allowed me to see every expression on the groom’s face. His infectious laughter, honest tears and assertive vows exuded passion. I prayed silently, interlacing my fingers on the stems of the bouquet. I cried out to God in three simple words: “I want this.” …

How the 5 Emotions from Disney Pixar’s”Inside Out” Relates to Our Sins

We desire to be desired. We want to be wanted. We long to be longed. …especially as a single girl. And when we choose not to believe God fulfills all of those things, we take matters into our own hands. I am guilty Ashamed of what I’ve done, what I’ve become These hands are dirty I dare not lift them up to the Holy one There are seasons where I can go weeks, even months without succumbing to my struggles. But then there are seasons where I struggle not going a day without falling into the den of lions. 1. Fear Now normally guilt surfaces in the pit of my stomach when I know I’ve disobeyed God, like a dog who’s been caught shredding the toilet paper. Tail between my legs, I try to cover up the obvious paper trail. 2. Disgust However, If I’m being honest, sometimes I don’t automatically ask my Father for forgiveness of my sins. My apathetic heart turns to stone. I talk myself out of feeling shameful by justifying my actions. The voices inside my head reason, “It’s no big …

Expectation v. Reality

Legs too short to tap my toes on the carpet, my feet rhythmically swayed mid-air to the beat of the music. Not only did I need a melody of escape, but a place to take captive my thoughts. As I sat on the big comfy couch at Chattahoochee Coffee Company, my thoughts became distracted as soon as these two tall twenty-somethings sat next to me, which by the way, looked like they had just stepped out of an REI catalog. Suddenly I became more aware of my lack of care in getting ready for the day. But at the same time, I didn’t mind the “no make-up, messy hair, glasses, Patagonia pull-over, leggings, sneakers, wool socks, coffee breath” look. http://data.whicdn.com/images/24415877/large.gif Focus Ashley. So for the past two years, I’ve realized my over-thinking and over-analyzing thoughts can be harmful to my health. Expectations are either met, exceeded or deflated. And it’s especially in those situations of over-thinking when my expectations don’t align with reality. Remember the scene in 500 Days of Summer when Tom gets invited to Summer’s party? Split down the center of the screen, the left side …

5 Truths About (Emotional) Dating

“1, 2… 1, 2, 3, 4!” Waking up to Raspberry Beret,  I extended my hand over to my flip phone jamming out on my desk and turned off its alarm before Prince had the chance to tell me he was working part-time in a five-and-dime. My eyes, halfway open, suddenly lit up as I noticed a text message flashing across my screen: Well, shoot. Is that not just the sweetest little text from my boyfriend? Oh, wait… Just kidding. He’s not actually my boyfriend. Emotional Dating: (in my own words) when a girl is emotionally and romantically attached to a guy without ever actually dating him, vice versa. Story of my life.  From high school jocks to southern fraternity guys, I always had someone whom I was “talking to” or “texting.” And even though these guys I texted in college treated me like their girlfriend, I never heard the words, “Will you go on a date with me?” or “Will you be my girlfriend?” Sounds like the beginning stages of a dating relationship, though, right? Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. …

Why Dictionary’s Definition of ‘Single’ Does Not Define Our Worth.

Single: (adjective) only one in number; one only; unique; sole of, relating to, or suitable for one person only solitary or sole; lone unmarried or not in a romantic relationship pertaining to the unmarried state of or noting a parent who brings up a child or children alone, without a partner. of one against one, as combat or fight. Apparently, Dictionary.com only sees the negative connotations of the word “single.” But there is one word that sticks out to me that doesn’t quite seem to match the rest of its seven descriptions: unique Single or in a relationship, we are all unique. And that uniqueness flows from our Creator. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created him. Genesis 1:27 God created each and every single one of us uniquely. He fashioned the freckles on my arms, the blue hue in my eyes, and the brunette strands brushing across my forehead. He composed my personality type, the sound of my laughter, and the very breath I breathe. God …

3 Lessons I Learned From My Middle School Mistakes

Before the days of Facebook stalking, Tweeting, Snapchatting, double-tapping, and proudly displaying a Top 8 on Myspace, us 90s kids had either MSN Messenger or AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). Signing on to AIM, my heart skipped a beat when I saw my crush’s familiar ScreenName at the top of my “Buddy List.” To message him or to not message him? That was the question. But then I lost all hope when his allusive “Away Message” popped up saying he’ll “BRB.” Maybe I’ll just try again same time tomorrow? (Because talking to my crush face-to-face never occurred to me in middle school). So I waited… and waited… and waited until his status showed “Available.” Pathetic, but true. Too impatient for the guy to make the first move, I messaged my crush first. I just had to let him know that I was available for the 8th Grade Dance. What’s a girl gotta do to get a slow dance to Nickelback around here? Back before it was possible to Facebook stalk that cute guy from gym class, us 90s kids found out through word of mouth if in fact that cute guy …

Ashley’s Story

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And when I was in middle school, my life revolved around comparison. I can remember times when I would walk into my dance studio, stare at the mirror and completely tear myself apart. I would look at the other girls in the studio and think I wasn’t talented enough pretty enough skinny enough And what fed into that, even more, is I was single all throughout middle school, high school and even into college. I felt like I was missing out by not having a boyfriend. That led me to feel like I was not good enough to be in a relationship. As a result, I experienced jealousy, fear, insecurity, loneliness, and anxiety. I was seeking man’s approval and not God’s approval. I kept asking myself, “Why can’t I be satisfied with the way God made me?” Even though I grew up in a loving Christian home with my dad as a pastor, my view of Christianity was skewed. I thought that being a Christian …