The Spiritual Single
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3 Lessons I Learned From My Middle School Mistakes

Before the days of Facebook stalking, Tweeting, Snapchatting, double-tapping, and proudly displaying a Top 8 on Myspace, us 90s kids had either MSN Messenger or AIM (AOL Instant Messenger).

90s vintage tech internet grungeSigning on to AIM, my heart skipped a beat when I saw my crush’s familiar ScreenName at the top of my “Buddy List.”

To message him or to not message him? That was the question.

But then I lost all hope when his allusive “Away Message” popped up saying he’ll “BRB.” Maybe I’ll just try again same time tomorrow? (Because talking to my crush face-to-face never occurred to me in middle school).

So I waited… and waited… and waited until his status showed “Available.” Pathetic, but true.

Too impatient for the guy to make the first move, I messaged my crush first. I just had to let him know that I was available for the 8th Grade Dance. What’s a girl gotta do to get a slow dance to Nickelback around here?

Back before it was possible to Facebook stalk that cute guy from gym class, us 90s kids found out through word of mouth if in fact that cute guy from gym class was single or taken.

1- Pride leads me to play the role of the pursuer.

I wanted so badly for my crush to know that I was interested in him. And no matter how spot on my Bonne Bell Lip Lites cappuccino lip gloss looked or how short my Soffee shorts felt, my efforts never attracted my middle school crush.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with going up to that cute guy and striking up a conversation; however, let him be the pursuer.

2- Let him lead, the role created for him by our Creator.

Call me old-fashioned, but I would rather have a guy courageously come up to me in person, strike up a conversation and ask if I was available for coffee Saturday night.

And in my 24.5 years of singleness, assuming the role of the pursuer leads me to feelings of disappointment and unfulfillment.

3- Christ is what makes you beautiful.

It wasn’t until later in life when I realized that I didn’t need to attract a guy by my outward appearances or efforts to receive recognition or approval. I realized I wanted a guy to be attracted to my heart for Jesus more than anything else. I want a guy who sees Jesus radiating inside of me.

Signing off,

Muffingirl620 (Still asking myself why I chose this as my ScreenName)


This entry was posted in: The Spiritual Single


With freckled-pale skin and thick brunette locks, I am a people-person who, with a southern accent, will extend words of affirmation to people so that they may feel known, loved and appreciated. I experience joy in helping others find the potential in themselves. I am a visionary and an artist. Above all, I value faith, family and friendships. So what does it look like to make the most of your single life? Well, in my case, I’ve been single since ’91 (aka my entire life). At 26 years old, I’m living into that question and I hope you’ll take a walk with me as I travel down the path of singleness and what God has shown me along the way. Ultimately, the purpose of Single Since ’91 is for God to be glorified in and through the vulnerability of my writing so that finding your soul mate would not be the end result, but that Jesus would be the ultimate desire of your heart.

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