The Sufficient Single
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Why It’s Important to Shake it Off

As soon as I hear those distinct doorbell dings, I know it’s only a matter of seconds before Mariah Carey tells me exactly what she wants for Christmas. And once the chorus chimes in, it’s only a matter of seconds until I start to chasse my way through traffic with a full-on jazz routine complete with your basic steering wheel slaps, head snaps, shoulder shimmies, chest pops and awkward stares from my beloved audience members in the lanes next to me.

I’ve spent an entire year preparing for that insanely high note and now’s my chance to let those vocal chords go. Gripping my water bottle microphone, I clear my throat.

“All I want for Christmas is… YOUUUUUUUU!”tumblr_mjogj8f5Wi1s3rem7o1_250.gif

When All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey comes on my Spotify, I transform into this “I’m going to sing at the top of my lungs and I don’t care who’s watching” mentality.jlo_gif_1_2_1459331768.gif

And that carefree attitude remains true for most of the pop songs on my Christmas playlist, including:

  • My Only Wish (This Year)- Britney Spears
  • Man With the Bag- Jessie J
  • This Christmas- Chris Brown
  • Merry Christmas (Happy Holidays)- *NSYNC
  • Santa Tell Me- Ariana Grande
  • Underneath the Tree- Kelly Clarkson
  • Do you Hear What I Hear- Whitney Houston

And especially Drummer Boy by the Biebs.giphy1.gif

But what would it look like to have that same carefree James Corden carpool karaoke attitude outside of our driver’s seat? Because if I’m being honest, people’s views of me can easily shape how I view myself once I step outside my vehicle.

When people first find out I’ve been single my entire life, their responses vary. A few weeks ago, a girl asked what I blogged about, and when I shared with her my story, her response belittled me:

  • Girl: Wait, but you’ve like gone on dates and stuff right?
  • Me: Well, no not exactly. I’ve been asked out once before, but I told the guy no.
  • Girl: Wait, so you’ve never dated anyone? Have you been crawling under a hole?

Ouch. It’s conversations like these when I forget every single blessing God has given me and focus solely on my singleness, especially during the holidays. I start to devalue my worth and believe the reasons I’m single is because I’m not  ________  enough.

  • Girl: I think everyone should experience heartache from a break-up. I’ve paid my dues.

Excuse me? I’ve definitely experienced rejection to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. I’m not about to put myself through a break-up just to say, “I survived.”

  • Girl: You better hurry and start dating now before all the good ones are taken since you’re at ground zero on the dating experience.

Girl, please. God’s timing is perfect. Since when did dating become a competition where you started from the bottom and worked your way up? Why should I serial date? Is it to “discover” what I’m looking for in a relationship? There is no perfect guy. But I do believe there is a Godly guy out there who’s imperfect.

Is he a believer? No? Next. Yes? Signed, sealed, delivered, I’m yours.FAxuTcV.gif

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out chemistry between two people. Of course, there must be an attraction, but that attraction cuts so much deeper than outward appearances. I refuse to date just to date and to lower my standards by settling less than God’s best for me.

So am I going to allow this girl’s view of me dictate my worth? No. God knows the desires of my heart. His ways are higher than mine. Jesus take the freakin wheel.giphy-1.gif

Like I said in my previous post:

Trust in God’s timing. Be joyful always and give thanks for where God has you at this very moment, even if your ring finger looks a little lonely.

For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. Psalm 84:11

Ladies, the players are gonna play and haters are gonna hate. Shake it off. I mean honestly, just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and dirty, dirty cheats of the world…taylor-swift-this-sick-beat-trademark.gif


  1. Siva Kaulave says


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