The Spiritual Single
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When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned.

Keira Davis Photography

As soon as the teacher turned toward the dry erase board, a crinkled scrap piece of paper made its way to my desk. I glanced around the classroom to see where the toss came from. Hunched over, half covering her mouth, Corie eagerly whispered, “It’s from Mitchell.”

I slowly unraveled the note and carefully read the tiny print: “Do you have a date to prom yet?”

After circling “No,” I nervously chucked my response toward his direction, praying the teacher wouldn’t see the paper ball conspicuously flying through the air. Moments later, the piece of paper found its way once more to the top of my desk: “Wanna go to prom together?”

I can’t tell you what I learned in class that day besides realizing my missed calling of meticulous paper throwing skills.  But one thing I did learn, Mitchell wanted to go to prom with me and I said, “Yes.”Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

Prom was less than two weeks away. I was beginning to feel discouraged I hadn’t been asked to my senior prom. Truthfully, I initially hoped either my guy friend from youth group or my crush on the tennis team would ask me. But when neither guy stepped up to the plate, I made plans to go solo with my girlfriends.

It wasn’t exactly the “promposal” experience I had hoped for. MTV’s Laguna Beach made every high school girl wish for that perfect “promposal” story to show-off to all their friends.giphy (3).gif

Looking back, I shouldn’t have been so caught up on the “who” asked me or the “how” I got asked. So what if the guy I hoped to go to prom with didn’t ask me? So what if the way I got asked to prom was a piece of paper tossed on my desk by a guy I hadn’t planned on going with?

Ultimately, I felt so incredibly honored Mitchell asked me to prom. And even though I picked out my dress a month earlier, his suit and tie matched perfectly with my lavender-blue mermaid gown and corsage snap bracelet. Mitchell was an awesome date and I wouldn’t have traded the dance floor with anyone else, specifically to Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.”Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

Have you ever planned for something to go the way you’ve hoped for only to have your dreams altered by reality?

For example, my first kiss was a disaster; I didn’t have that Mia Thermopolis Princess Diaries foot-popping experience. As a little girl, I looked up to Disney Princesses and desired for that Snow White/Sleeping Beauty waking up from slumber kind of kiss. To be candid, I was tipsy, maybe drunk, for my first kiss; however, I was cognizant enough to know the lip-locking abruptness was taking place. For more details about that experience, head on over to “When Forgiveness Seems Impossible.

In addition, my first date wasn’t ideal. I’ll just leave it at that.giphy

The list goes on: I didn’t make my college dance auditions initially (I’ll share that incredible God story in another post). Several job interviews didn’t lead to the career path I originally hoped for.

Sometimes it’s hard to see God at work amidst my disappointment, shame, rejection and unmet expectations. But what if I changed my perspective and recognized the reality of my circumstances as God’s original and perfect plan for me, including something as simple as prom?

In an older post, I wrote:

I don’t want to waste my energy manipulating situations to work out in my favor. I don’t want to be expectant of something that could very well never happen at all. I desire to draw near and trust in God’s timing. I don’t want to fear rejection. I’m no longer a slave to fear; I am a child of God. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. If not, God is still good.

Lastly, I didn’t plan on being single for 26 years.giphy (1)

I pictured myself married with kids by now, or at least in a serious relationship. But man oh man am I thankful for the path God intended for me. He has blessed me in so many ways, including singleness. And I can say that confidently because I have faith that God knows what’s best for me, even if it means going through various trials. God disciplines those he loves.giphy (2)

It was His plan for me all along for me to remain Single Since ’91. Heck, this blog wouldn’t even exist. But God knows the desires of my heart; I just have to trust that when singleness gets hard or when “my” plans are altered, He is faithful and His plans are still to prosper.

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You’re sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You’re teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You’re the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight
Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for Your glory

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